He was going to wear jeans!

My poor son.  As we were out running my errands today he mentions that Homecoming is next weekend.  He’s taking his “friend” Ivy. 
That would be one freshman male attending his first homecoming dance in less than a week. 
Ivy is wearing a black, mid-thigh dress.
I asked my son if he’d bought a new suit or at least new dress pants since he’s grown a bit over the summer.  Not sure how you do Homecoming where you live, but up here it’s growing almost as big as Prom, not quite, but it’s pushing the limits of traditional Homecoming dances.
His response?  What do you mean?  I thought I could just wear nice jeans and a dress shirt.  (keep in mind the boy hasn’t lived with me in over a year which means that anything he has would be at least a year old and considering two of his three dress shirts are hanging in my closet, along with all of his ties, I’m not quite sure what he planned on wearing)
Evidently neither his Dad nor his Step-Mom have given a thought to the needs of my son. 
So can you guess what I spent my Saturday doing?  Why is it that you can NEVER find a pair of dress pants in the size you need?  My son either needs to grow a couple of inches or shrink a bit!  lol  And then he had his heart set on wearing a black shirt.  Which led to the whole conversation about matching your dates outfit at special events like Homecoming, the poor boy was clueless!!!  (I WAS NOT DONE PARENTING WHEN HE LEFT ME!!!)  He *knew* her dress was black.  Plain black.  No other colors.  Positive! 
I’ll not lie, that made me a little excited because then he would pick out a tie and select matching flowers to add a splash of color to this black duo.  Of course, being a Mom, and knowing how much attention MALES typically pay to female clothing, I made him call her to confirm that she was still wearing the black dress.
I’m so smart.
The dress is BLUE, not black. 
So we laid down all that and started re-thinking.   It was fun.  The hardest part was that neither of us could remember exactly what size dress shirt he wears…. plus he’s lost some weight, and grew a bit so I’m standing there in the middle of JCPenney’s thinking and pondering and recalling all sorts of information about him, his Dad, the boys at church, my nephew DJ….   all to figure out what size dress shirt to buy.
And then I made him call his Dad.   I’m not a bad parent but my budget is pretty tight and I don’t have the means to lay out $150 on a full Homecoming outfit in one day.  And if he wouldn’t split the cost, I wasn’t buying.  A big part of me wanted to just get part of the outfit and let his Dad pick-up the balance.  But I know M-Sr, he would rather send his son into Homecoming looking like a ragamuffin than he would take an afternoon off work and take his son shopping.
The most frustrating part for me though was having to buy new dress shoes and dress socks AND a new black belt.  WHY DOESN”T MY SON OWN A BLACK BELT AND A PAIR OF DRESS SHOES?????  Aren’t those basic items of a males wardrobe?  Or is it just because we attend church?  But he always had those things before because there’s always some school function where you need the basics.
So I talked to M-Sr and told him flat out that he could either take him out this week to get the rest of the outfit or I would but he MUST pay me on Sunday when I drop off Mark Jr.  He jumped at the idea of me doing all the work and then splitting the cost.
We finally found a pair of pants that fit (and I don’t have to hem!!!), the shirt looks like it was sculpted for his body and I even liked the tie.  Of course, trying to find a size 11 black dress shoe that doesn’t cost $80 was another story!  And evidently every man on the planet must wear a size 34 belt!  The only thing I didn’t struggle with finding was the black socks.  Evidently no one has bought socks in Dover in years because there were a bazillion to choose from.
But now the real test will come…. will Mark Sr actually pay me tomorrow?  Or will he show up without any $$$? 
And if he doesn’t bring the money… do I keep his portion of the outfit?  SEVENTY dollars is a lot of money in my house.
Ohhh and I forgot the flower part.
Although I had already discussed flowers with M-Jr he was balking at the idea.  And being that my son is in the stage where he thinks I’m not real bright, I had to be a bit underhanded to get my way.
I simply called Ms Wendie, who has four beautiful daughters (15-22), two who are smoking HOT in my sons opinion and said (while my son was within earshot)  “Wendie what kind of flowers are girls wearing to Homecoming nowaday?”  I wish you could have seen my son perk-up while attempting to act as if he wasn’t eavesdropping.  In the end I had him on the phone with Wendie and she simply reiterated everything I had already told him. 
Oh the things we women have to do to make the men in our lives not look/act like boneheads.


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